Baby Steps Back To Normalcy

by Babs Rappleye (aka Tucker Neel)

Artillery Magazine, Jan./Feb. 2022

Dear Babs,
Back in the pre-Covid days, I didn’t mind going to art openings and events; they weren’t my favorite thing, but I knew it was essential to show up and meet people. Now, after a year of not going out, I find these activities next to impossible to endure. I’m vaccinated, booster-ed, and wear a mask, so I’m not afraid of getting Covid. It’s just that I have this new anxiety I didn’t have before. I find myself unable to socialize; I feel paralyzed and just not myself. What do I do?

—Awkward in Altadena

Dear White Liar, 
It’s easy for new artists like your friend to get discouraged by negative criticism, so it’s best to give them as much encouragement as possible. But this doesn’t mean you have to lie.

Start by getting to know your friend’s art on their terms. Ask them to talk about what they want their viewers to see in their paintings. How do they want their viewers to interpret what they see? You want to understand your friend’s intentions with their art. If they have trouble articulating their intentions, this is an excellent opportunity to help them figure that out. Ask them what questions they are searching to answer.

Then feed them a praise sandwich. Begin by telling them where their paintings succeed. I don’t care how much you hate their art; you can find things in it that successfully align with their intentions. You don’t have to “like” what you’re seeing; you just have to assure your friend that you see it. If they wanted to paint puppies playing basketball and you see just that, then that’s a success. Then give some productive criticism, pointing out where you think the art doesn’t communicate in the way your friend wants. Then complete the sandwich with another observation about where the art succeeds. You can repeat this process for as long as necessary. If you do this enough, you’ll both come to an understanding of their art that transcends knee-jerk tastes and biases. Who knows, maybe you might learn to love the art along the way. If you don’t, that’s okay too. Unless they are making paintings specifically for you, it shouldn’t matter anyway.